Nostalgia

It certainly has been a while since i have had the time to post. Lost of things have happened in my life. Someof those have been blessings, while others not so much. However, this has been a year full of high and low times that have led to a more mature me. I am not talking about just in mentally or physically in which one side always out weighs the other. I speak of it as a whole this feeling of balance is nostalgic. Very close to the times of no worry as a child and the worrysome times as a teenager. In the past everything was simple. Just like that statement but, as I aged and faced life without anytype of support or profound knowledge of whats ahead of me, everything just became so serious. For almost 3 years now my day consisted of work or school without room for anything else. When something else was added it gave a little bit of optimism however just as quickly as it came it was washed away in a wave of confusion. From the time I left home until Febuary of this year I often asked myself "Who am I? Who have i become? Why am I doing the things I do?" Just utter confusion. This year i made a friend who if I was who i was before and the person that i am now would have became a lifelong friend but of course that was ruined due to my selfishness. Its a bit more than that but I was selfish I wanted more and tried to take it all for myself. In the end one could say that its all my fault she walked away..no i pushed her away with my actions. The last thing she ever said to me still rings in my eye and what led me to this ephiphany that reverted flipped the light switch back on. "You are nobody, and I have already become somebody" Thank you Eva I wish i could show you how sorry I am and how much i regret it but that wont happen. Lesson learned. The identity crisis that I had has been solved. I feel much better now. I feel like me again. My name is Shaquan and I already am someone no need for me to be someone else. This state of mind, the calmness that has surrounded my heart, body and mind is just nostalgic. The sun has yet to fully rise into the sky.